Internal Family Systems (IFS)

Internal Family Systems (IFS) maps onto the "heart chart" insight anchor fairly well. Richard Schwartz, the founder, identifies protective parts and more sensitive parts. Protective parts (Managers and Firefighters) work to keep Exiles and their "burdens" hidden, while Exiles hold unresolved pain and emotions (the burdens), usually from childhood attachment injuries, or traumas.

A helpful concept fleshed out nicely in IFS is polarization. Polarization can occur when parts are in conflict with one another, each believing their approach is necessary for survival. Practically, you can feel polarization at work when you find yourself bouncing back and forth between two "modes" of responding to an issue. Imagine bouncing back and forth from the left to the right sides of the heart, like a pinball in a pinball machine. For example, procrastination often involves a clash between your “responsible part” wanting to work and your “lazy part” wanting to relax. This internal conflict can cause stress and inaction.

The goal of therapy is to access your core Self, which is seen as the calm, compassionate, whole person at the center of your being, and then to use the Self to unburden the emotional pain of the Exile(s), as well as to unburden the extreme defensiveness of the protective parts, thus restoring harmony to the inner system.

In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, the term trailhead is used to help identify triggers, such as objects, situations, events, or persons. However, it more specifically refers to the thoughts, feelings, body sensations, memories, or images that arise in reaction to these triggers. These trailheads serve as entry points for exploring and understanding the parts of the internal system that are activated.

For example, if you feel a knot in your stomach when recalling an event, that bodily sensation is a trailhead. It indicates a part of you that is reacting to the memory of that event. Similarly, if a specific situation or person consistently makes you feel anxious or upset, that trigger is also a trailhead, pointing to parts of you that are activated by those experiences.

So, trailheads are essentially starting points for exploration in IFS therapy, helping you identify and work with the parts that are responding to various internal and external stimuli.

‍

Many of us spend up to 70% of our time in manager mode.

Managers are trying to manage your life by preempting anything that might trigger the exiles. They aim to keep everything, including you, under control.

Some parts become critics, yelling at you to behave, look perfect, or perform well to avoid rejection or counter feelings of worthlessness. Others try to keep you small to avoid risks. Critics, though harsh, are trying to protect you. Some parts become caretakers, especially for women, focusing on others’ needs to avoid abandonment. These are common manager protector roles, driven by the need to preempt, control, and please others.

But life can break through these manager defenses and trigger your exiles, causing a big emotional emergency. These raw emotions can overwhelm you with flashbacks and panic, terrifying other parts of you. That’s when another set of parts, called firefighters, jump into action to get you away from these intense feelings. They might use substances, distractions, or other methods to douse the emotional flames. If you have many exiles, you’ll likely have many managers, and therefore many firefighters trying different strategies to protect you. The strategies can be in a hierarchy, so that if one strategy doesn't work, a more extreme strategy can be used.

Before they got hurt, exiles were like inner children—playful, loving, open, and creative. They’re the most sensitive and get hurt the most by life’s challenges and attachment injuries.

They carry burdens of terror, worthlessness, emotional pain, abandonment, and betrayal.

Once they get burdened like this, we don't want anything to do with them because they can pull us back into those painful childhood scenes (unresolved episodic memory) and they can overwhelm us with all that emotion. We often lock them away, calling them exiles. It’s important to remember these roles are not their true nature but a result of what happened to them.

Integrating Parts - IFS offers two main protocols. The first focuses on working with protective parts (using the 6 F's: Find, Focus, Flesh Out, Feel Toward, Befriend, and Fear) to gain their permission to access Exiles. Once underneath the defenses, the unburdening protocol allows Exiles to release their burdens, freeing them from the weight of past wounds. This integration process allows for greater harmony and reduces the internal conflict between parts.

Managers: shift from controlling to supporting the individual in a more balanced way, providing structure without rigid control.

Firefighters: no longer feel the need to react impulsively and instead find healthier ways to address distress.

Exiles are welcomed back into the system without their burdens, leading to healing and reintegration into the self.

The goal of IFS for this stage is to grow in Self-leadership. The Self assists the other parts to thrive in their unburdened roles. When challenges are faced in life, the Self guides and directs the activity of the other parts, kind of like a CEO leads a company by making sure employees feel seen, valued, and aligned under their leadership.